I’m sitting at Grom, just outside Central Park enjoying what I believe may be the world’s best hot chocolate. It’s just my opinion… But.. It’s good. The TCSNYC marathon is finishing and tired zombie-like men and women walk by with their families and friends.. Some alone.. But all with a look of accomplishment and fatigue… And some look happy. It’s New York, so happy may be masked by a face of complaint.. Not sure.

   

Grom… nothing but delicious


  The city, in general, makes me happy. It’s where I got engaged, it’s where I took my kids to see Matilda, it’s where I have my first memories of a museum with a giant blue whale, it’s where a city merges with a place of true natural beauty…it’s my very favorite place to run (albeit short distances.. Not marathons). All of this coexisting in the hustle and bustle of a huge city.

central park run on Halloween

When I met my fiancé, he used to have a saying “estoy contento… Pero no estoy feliz”. Content, but not happy. It’s a challenge, truly, in this world of ours to find happiness, balance, a sense of belonging and accomplishment. It’s not easy, but it is possible.

What does it take? First, a firm decision to be happy and to share your happiness with people around you. You have to want it, accept that you can have it and then? Then you have to analyze your life and what needs to change, what you want accomplish, what can you delegate, relegate, accept or delete in order to achieve your goal. Happy doesn’t need money, sleep, time off work or a day at the spa. It requires time, effort, balance & health and perspective and acceptance. In fact, some of the things that make me really happy take a lot of effort! I love to cook and I’m proud to put dinner on the table for my family despite working crazy hours. It takes effort, planning and labor… But I really enjoy it! Exercise too! It makes me feel good… Gives me a chance to clear my mind and really helps with the aches and pains of aging and working…. But sometimes it means less sleep… 

 

making time for an ocean swim with my son!

 Some people are happy alone, but most of us do well with support. Get out there and make friends! Particularly us women… Face it… We live longer than the men and we will need our friends as we age! And who better to bounce ideas off of, complain to, de-stress with or share the burdens of work, family, kids and home with. A good girlfriend is worth more than a therapist and a gym out together (although those help too..) 

Work on your relationships. Unhappy wife or husband- unhappy life. Show your appreciation for your Significant other, friends and kids… and express your need for appreciation. Keep communication open and avoid the passive agressivity that can come with the burdens of house work, kids, chores, your jobs and inequality of task sharing … Real or imagined.

One of my favorite quotes from who I have no idea… “If you don’t like it, change it … If you can’t change it… Accept it… If you can’t accept it, leave it .. Move on”. Make the effort. Find your happy. Not easy, but worth it.