Let’s face it ladies… We are busy! Work, kids, laundry…. Omg the laundry… cooking, cleaning, homework (I can’t wait for summer)…
But is it really true that you don’t have enough time to do the things you want or need to do? Like make friends, go out with existing friends, go on a date, exercise, get a pedicure, or invest time in your genius business idea?
How much time do you use in a day for various activities… And how much time do do you waste doing things you don’t really need to do, or don’t enjoy? This was prompted, as usual, by a medical student- fearing the ability to balance the demands of a career in surgery (why do we surgeons get such a bad rap??) and outside life, asking me if you can really do it all… The answer, “NO!” (You didn’t see that coming, did you?!) But, you can do anything you prioritize and set your mind to” and that is true.
You must make time for the things you value, love, enjoy and are required of you.
The thing is, that working professional women in higher income careers have a distinct, clear advantage over the many working women with lower incomes… The ability to delegate the tasks that you don’t wish to prioritize. Like the toilet cleaning… Or cooking… Or whatever it is that needs to be done and you don’t like.
THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE EXERCISE… YOU MAY NOT DELEGATE EXERCISE… good try..
But, what we all have.. is guilt .. The desire to do it all, the fear of judgement…and we allow ourselves to be put in a position of overextension, over stress. We get it done (of course we do), but it’s not fun. Guilt is not useful… Unless you are actually guilty…(like not calling your mother…. Or sleeping with your friend’s husband…). But guilt for being a hard worker, a great mom and investing in your own wellbeing is unacceptable.
Oh man. I get it. How can you go out on date night when you worked late 3 nights this week, missing your kids’ bedtime twice?
Well listen up.. And this from a lady who cleans the toilets.. Do what you love to do and what you need to do yourself and delegate the rest. If the item you wish to delegate is stressful to delegate, pick something else.
The key is priorities. Prioritize, schedule, motivate and then accomplish in an efficient manner and plan for fun!
Here come my tips!
1. Set your priorities and schedule them in your calendar. Make a list and make it specific and detailed and reevaluate it regularly making changes to reflect what works for you.
2. Make a realistic schedule. Don’t schedule dinner with your family every night at 630 if you’ve never gotten home before 7… Be realistic and flexible. We have dinner at 715. That gives me time to get home and prepare the meal (I’m a dinner-prep-ninja..), time to eat, clean up and get my youngest (7) into bed at 815 for story time.
2. Motivate yourself to get it done.. Make it fun to get it done!
Want to run regularly? Sign up for a challenge on “Map My Run” or sign up for a 5k, or longer! I like to swim so I try to register for an open water swim a couple times a year to keep me on point!
Put it in your calendar. Make a cute evite for you and your girlfriends to set up that girls night out… They are just as busy! If it’s not in the calendar, it’s not getting done. See if you can combine priorities. For instance, I can get in a great swim while my youngest is in swim class 45 mins 2x a week and I get to spend a bit more quality time with her ending each session with a couple laps together! A couple times a week I prepare a dinner that gets put in the oven.. like enchiladas or baked ziti (yum). There is a reason your oven has that “cook time” feature. Set that bad boy and get moving. Perfect window to go for a run. Watching the kids? Put them on a bike (with a helmet!) and bring them with you! Set a destination that they (and you) will enjoy.. A park with fun swings (you can do some fun planks!) … or Starbucks for a little halfway point treat or any other fun landmark. If you want to run to the gym or a yoga class, see if you can find one with a kids class at the same time! By the way, those dance programs that your kids play on PS4 are great exercise and crazy fun and can give you time with your kids and time to exercise. Great rainy day workout! Warning… be sure that you are either prepared to be on a you tube video, or close the blinds…
3. Increase you efficiency!
If you don’t like to do it and it doesn’t need to be done… Why are you doing it? I like to cook a lot and I don’t mind cleaning. I’ll do those tasks. Driving? I don’t like as much and most of the driving is in the pre dinner period when I prefer to be cooking! So, our family’s au pair takes on the driving while I knock out dinner prep and a little house straightening! I actually find it frustrating to pay a lot of money to someone to clean and then have the house dirty the next day. Let’s face it, 3 kids and 3 dogs and my husband and I… The house needs daily maintenance. I have no resentment, no frustration and a house that is clean enough! Give up perfection!
Review you daily schedule. Are you sitting in front of the tv? Do you enjoy that or it is it wasted time? I was sitting in traffic 60-90 mins each afternoon. Well, now I take the metro.. It’s a 0.7 mile walk to the station.. So I get a little exercise, and then a 21 minute ride during which I can clean out email and take care of other similar tasks… Even pay my bills. Win win win!
Not every task in our day is going to be fun… But so much of this life thing depends on your mindset.
A happy mind is more creative, more loving, more healthy!
This reminds me… It’s time for a girls night out? Who’s in?
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