I’m swimming in the ocean. The beautiful warm water surrounds me, comforts me, supports my weight as I glide through the water.  Suddenly, I feel a strong current.  The current is pulling me out,  tugging me downward, pushing my head to the bottom. A single drop of water is nothing, yet the millions together that make up the ocean have a force to be reckoned with. The drops of water together can support your weight allowing you to effortlessly float, or it can tug and pull and wash you to your death.     The ocean cannot be fought by just one person. To fight the rip current would lead to exhaustion and certain death… To surrender? The same. And yet, a steady onward progression peacefully protesting the horrible tugs and pulls of the mighty ocean leads to safety.

Ladies, it is our responsibility, our duty and perhaps our mission to look forward – keep our heads and eyes up and peacefully progress. I’m not talking about the presidency- that is only a symptom of the underlying disease. I’m talking about sexism. I’m talking about bias. We see it every damn day.  It surfaces in our jobs, in our homes and in our kid’s schools. We pretend that it doesn’t exist. I do. I go to work and I work. I ignore the comments, the looks, the men that speak over me or for me. We don’t want to make a fuss or fight or “be that girl/lady”. But that is getting us nowhere. That attitude is known as Stereotype threat. Basically, we are expecting the stereotype and for reasons unknown, we feed into it. We are paid less, respected less and promoted less, and I for one am not going to leave this battle to my daughters to fight.

When I decided to become a surgeon I was completely unaware that women didn’t do this.. didn’t become surgeons. It always strikes me as a strange thing when smart, bright talented women medical students question their ability to be a woman and a surgeon. After all, we operate with our hands. 

What happens between the time we are strong beautiful open minded girls to when we become cautious, defensive, submissive women? WHAT HAPPENS?When I belt out Beyoncé “who rules the world” my 8 year old daughter choruses “GIRLS!!!”. She has no idea that it’s a lie. And hell if you think I’m going to tell her.  But it doesn’t need to be. In a way we do, and in every way we could. We just have to stand up, look up and keep moving forward. 

I listened to the most amazing interview this week on NPR. The interview was a Cuban American immigrant, now American, who voted in the election for a tough stance on immigration. He stated that yes, he related to the refugees, to their plight. He said for the first years in the US he supported immigration, he wanted the same for others that he had achieved, but then, he realized that the immigrants he supported had become his competitors for jobs, for opportunity and he didn’t want that. Regardless of whether I agree or not, I understand the mentality. Ladies.. it is just that.. we were welcomed into the workplace, into the military, into the workforce.. and guess what? We’re good! Maybe even equal… maybe even better and that is a problem. We ARE the competition. So don’t think this is going to be easy. Don’t think for a second the glass ceiling is going to shatter it’s self.. or the men will hand you a hammer. Some will.. those with the intelligence to recognize the world will be its best when those who are most able, most willing, best equipped do the jobs they are best at.. man or woman. But others will build a rip current.. slowly joining and pulling and tugging to stop our forward progress to bring us down. 

Just as the ocean builds its power by the millions of drops of water, we too can join together, an ocean of women, a tide of change, a wave of success. Heads up, ladies. You don’t need to fight you only need to acknowledge the pull, the tug to push you down, pull up, join together. Don’t look away. It’s time.