Same world.. Different states of mind 

I just finished my private time with my treadmill. I have a love hate relationship with it. It is now 13 years old. I bought it from Walmart during my last year of fellowship and it has served me through 3 babies, 4 different houses and 2 years in storage. I don’t like to run on it. It’s boring and monotonous. I position it so I can see a little square of the canal and can watch the ghost like shapes of the manatees gliding by. That motivates me.. I don’t want to look like a manatee, after all..although they are quite beautiful in their Rubenesque way. 

I become completely schizophrenic leading up to a run. “Let’s run outside” “no, it’s getting dark and I can’t see in the dark and I don’t want to fall again” “pansy..” “I don’t want to run” ” you need to run” I remind myself that when I don’t exercise everything starts to hurt… Sciatica… Ugh… Not enough… I promise myself ice cream.. That works.  I do my 3 miles and I decide to go outside to do some exercises. 45 years and a series of minor ortho injuries… All fully recoverable, but a little maintence goes a long way to keep myself from falling apart…

I do my push ups and turn over for some abs. It’s dark. The moon  is 3/4 full with ragged edges, for every crunch another star seems to appear. The metro roars by in the background and horns incessantly beep as the crickets seem to begin a symphony designed to drown them out

I want them to look out their car windows at this sky. Our sky. My sky. Your sky. What’s the hurry?

I know all they see is the blurred ribbon of red lights keeping them from getting home. The ever growing to do list. The idiots blocking them. The anger.

We are in the same world.. But a different state of mind.

Choose your state. It matters.